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Category: Well-Being DIY

How to get over an unrequited crush

My Crush Rejected Me: How to Get Over an Unrequited Crush

Most if not all of us have had crushes.  Some of them when we were growing up; some of them now.  Even if we are happily with someone right now, we may have peers or teenage friends and relatives who may be in the midst of a crush.  So what do we do or what advice can we offer to help someone get over that unrequited crush because It can feel devastating. This post is dedicated to some special people I come in contact with daily in my career as a high school history teacher.  You’ve asked for a post about getting over a crush and I am finally delivering.

How to get over an unrequited crush

 

I had so many crushes when I was in high school.  I had so many my best friend and I assigned them numbers so we could refer to them covertly.  All of these crushes were unrequited. I didn’t meet my husband until I was in college and we were working at the same place.  I had actually just gotten dumped when I first started talking to him.  We always joke that he was my rebound boyfriend.  We’ve been together for 19 years.  Some of these boys that I had crushed on I never even talked to.  One was a definite bad boy that I never talked to at all. But alas…getting over a crush; how do you do it.  Sometimes, its actual time to helps you get over them. You change, they change, you find someone different, you move on naturally.

 

But sometimes you get hung up.  And you actually put yourself out there.  And then you might be rejected by your crush.

 

What can you do if you get rejected by your crush.

 

Cry

If you actually get rejected by your crush, understand that it’s okay to cry about it.  Even if this crush was one that impossible; if it was someone that was bad for you; if it was someone who you rarely interacted with…its okay to be hurt and cry about it.  Listen to sad music and let your feelings flow. Sometimes a good cry is very cathartic.

 

It's okay to cry about being rejected

It’s okay to cry about being rejected

 

Network of Friends

Use your network of friends; your in-person friends or your online friends.  Commiserate with them, let them help you carry your hurt or disappointment of that unrequited crush.  But also immerse yourself in their friendship. Do things that you enjoy with them. Tell them that you need a distraction.  Enjoy spending time with them. Don’t shut yourself off from your network.

 

Distance

Distance helps.  Make new friends in different circles.  If you are intentionally putting yourself in situations so that you can interact with your unrequited crush…stop.  Especially if it’s not a situation that normally comes up. It looks obvious or odd from the other perspective. Try new activities.  Do things you enjoy. Don’t intentionally seek out the crush that has rejected you.

friendship builds you up

Build yourself up through your friendship network

 

Build Yourself Up

Daily affirmations can be very helpful.  Start your morning with them. Spend some quiet time reflecting on yourself and what are the best things about you.  You can google daily affirmations and get great lists. Search for daily affirmations for ____ and fill in the blank (for women, for teens, for success, for students, for moms, etc.).   It’s important that you do not let getting rejected by your crush make you afraid of putting yourself out there again. Rejection from a crush could happen for many different reasons and it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you.  You are a worthy person. If you notice that the rejection is weighing on your heavily and you seem not to be able to shake the hurt, then you should talk to someone about it.

 

Music for Strength and Power

Listen to music for strength and power.  NOT the wallowing, heartbreak music…that’s for the crying stage.   This is the music for you, because you are amazing, you are strong, and there are better things ahead for you.  Check out my songs for strength and power playlist here.

 

Remember you are not alone

Understand that crushes are okay to have.  They don’t have to mean anything. They can be secret, they can be fun.  Just don’t let crushes interfere in real relationships that you can form, grow, and develop.   

Remember you are not alone in this.  We have all faced rejection and there are legions of us that have made it to the other side.  You will get through this.

Infographic how to get through being rejected by your crush

 

What tips do have to offer someone to get over that crush or for those going through rejection?  Drop a comment and let us know!

 

 

Songs for Strength and Power

Playlist for Strength and Power

 

Sometimes you need music that builds you up.  You need songs that inspire strength and power.  Here is my playlist for strength and power. I hope you can use this list of songs to build you up and inspire you to move forward in your life.

(This post may contain affiliate links and I may earn a commission for trials started)

 

Songs for Strength and Power

I’ve included YouTube videos for each song; but I have also included an Amazon Music Playlist and an Apple Music playlist; if you use any of these services.

If you don’t use these services;  Amazon music is running a promotion now.  Instead of a 30-day free trial you can get  3 months of their unlimited music streaming service for just 99 cents.  After that it costs 7.99 a month. BUT, you can cancel after your three months with no problems. There is no commitment!

Click the banner below to get your 3 months of unlimited music for only 99 cents!   

Amazon Music Playlist:

Apple Music: You can try it free for 30 days by clicking the banner below.    

Apple Music Playlist 

 

YouTube Video Playlist

Unwritten: Natasha Bedingfield

Brave: Sara Bareilles

 

Fight Song: Rachel Platten

 

Titanium: David Guetta

 

Let it Be: The Beatles

 

I Can See Clearly Now: Johnny Nash

 

TubThumping: Chumbawamba

 

On Top of the World: Imagine Dragons

 

Girl on Fire: Alicia Keys

 

Allstar: Smash Mouth

Three Little Birds: Bob Marley

So what are your go to songs for power and strength?  Let us know by dropping a comment.

Also check out this post on other free trials you can take advantage of in addition to the music services I included here.  Great Free Trials

 

This video makes my head feel tingly. The ASMR phenomenon

This Video Makes My Head Feel Tingly

The ASMR Phenomenon

ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.  People who can experience ASMR describe it as a “tingling, static-like sensation across the scalp, back of the neck and at times further areas in response to specific triggering audio and visual stimuli. This sensation is widely reported to be accompanied by feelings of relaxation and well-being.”  Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4380153/

This video makes my head feel tingly. The ASMR phenomenon

I have experienced this since I was a kid and just thought it was something different about me and never sought out any reason for it.  It wasn’t until I saw an article about people making videos of them cutting up bars of soap that I had heard of the term. When I read the description of ASMR, I knew exactly what they were talking about.

 

You may have experienced ASMR if you’ve ever watched something or heard a noise and it caused you to feel a tingling sensation the back of your head that might radiate across your scalp or down your spine.  This sensation is often referred to as ASMR tingles.

 

There has been a newer phenomenon on YouTube of people creating videos to try to trigger these sensations for people who experience ASMR.  This brings us to the videos of people cutting up soap….yes, YouTube videos of people cutting up bars of soap. My daughter and I watched a 10 minute video together of a person cutting up bars of soap.

 

These videos have no music or talking; it is just focused on hands and bars of soap being cut up. My youngest daughter and I get the ASMR tingles.  My youngest daughter talks about noises that are very satisfying to her. These noises are what triggers the ASMR tingles for her. She likes the videos of people cutting and running their fingers through kinetic sand.  My oldest daughter, who does not get the ASMR tingles, finds the videos relaxing to watch. She really likes the videos of people crushing floral foam. The floral foam in these videos has been soaked and sometimes has glitter sprinkled all over it.  The video features the sound of the water being squeezed out the foam and the glitter running through the water.

ASMR satisfying sensations from auditory and visual stimuli

Sometimes the purpose of these videos are to relax the viewer to induce a restful sleep.  A lot of times the ASMR videos will just have people whispering or different kinds of soft noises that relax people. Each person is different in what kinds of stimuli will trigger the ASMR sensations.   Not every ASMR video will produce sensations for each person. However, it is possible that videos outside your tingle trigger category can produce relaxing or satisfaction (as my daughters would put it)  

 

Below are some links to a variety of ASMR videos so you can see what I’m talking about.

Soap cutting

Glitter Floral Foam

Whispering and a variety of small sounds (this creator has a lot of great videos for ASMR)

Kinetic Sand

Hair and Scalp

If you have problems relaxing for bed or getting to sleep, maybe these could help.  Also check out this post on tips and techniques to ease insomnia. Sleep…What’s That?  Tips and Techniques to Ease Insomnia

 

Have you ever heard of ASMR or do you get these sensations?  Do you watch these videos that are “satisfying”. Does this seem pretty crazy to you?  Add a comment to our discussion.

Tips and Methods to Ease Insomnia

Have you been in any of these positions?

I can’t sleep

I didn’t sleep

I hardly slept

I can’t stay asleep

Tips and Methods to Ease Insomnia

This post contains affiliate links.  This means that I may earn a commission on your purchase.  This does not affect your pricing at all.

Insomnia is a big problem for me. Some days I don’t sleep at all. Some nights it’s only a couple of hours of sleep. Some nights I may sleep but it’s not a restful sleep.

I have used a lot of different methods to try to ease insomnia, get to sleep earlier, stay asleep longer, and have a more restful sleep. I try to use more natural means of getting and staying asleep because I don’t like the way sleeping pills make me feel, or the weird dreams that I sometimes when taking them. If I do use a sleeping aid, its not a prescription, its a Unisom or Tylenol PM or Aleve PM if I have a headache. In this post I  will give you some non medication related techniques to try to ease your insomnia.

Melatonin

You may or may not consider melatonin a medication.  You can find melatonin in pill, liquid or gummy form at most places that sell vitamins.  I use melatonin with my children upon recommendation from our pediatrician. A lot of people use melatonin because it’s considered to be a supplement to a substance made by your body.  Melatonin is a hormone to gets your body ready to sleep. The problem with taking a melatonin supplement is that your body can develop a tolerance to it so you might lose some of the effectiveness.  To avoid this you don’t want to use it every night. If you’ve been using it for a while and you noticed that you’re becoming more more tolerant to its effects, you might want to give your body a break for a couple weeks or months and then come back to using it.

Weighted Blanket

One big thing that has helped me lately is a weighted blanket. I have generalized anxiety which sometimes causes my thoughts to race when I am trying to fall asleep which causes me to stay awake a lot longer than I want to; even if I’m tired and ready for bed. Often, my body just feels restless and it’s hard to settle down which leads to difficulty getting to sleep.  A weighted blanket causes deep pressure touch stimulation. This type of stimulation is relaxing and calming and can help your body produce serotonin; which is a neurotransmitter that regulates mood, digestion, sleep, social behavior, memory, among other things. I experienced immediate results using the weighted blanket.

I ordered this weighted blanket from Amazon. It’s 17 pounds.  

Clicking the pictures will take you to the Amazon listing for the item.

It is suggested that you get a weight that is about 10% of your body weight.

Here are some comparable blankets of varying weight from Amazon.  

15 pound

5 pound

20 pound

If a store-bought weighted blanket is too pricey for you, and you are crafty, you could make your own.  Here is a YouTube video how-to on making your own weighted blanket

Here is an article that details why weighted blankets work.

Weighted Blanket help Insomnia and Anxiety

Specific Evening Routine

So another method to help ease insomnia is coming up with an evening routine to help your body and your mind recognize that it’s time to wind down and get ready for bed.  This routine should involve some sort of quiet activity. You can do a warm shower or bath, reading, or listening to quiet music. There are researchers that say the extraneous light from your cell phone can cause your brain to stay more alert and affect your ability to fall asleep.  Because of this it is recommended for you to not use your cellphone while trying to go to sleep. This can impact you if you were going to use your phone for reading material or for listening to quiet music. You can dim the screen brightness for reading, or tuck your phone out of sight if you were going to listen to music.

Sleep Inducing Music 

There are a lot of articles of the web about the use of 432 Hz as a frequency to have music tuned to.  It is said that this is the frequency that the earth resonates at. Here is an article to explains this concept

Support for 432 Hz

Here is an article that presents some facts and falsehoods about the frequency.

Separating Falsehood and Facts of 432 Hz

Whatever you think about the use of this frequency; there are several videos on YouTube that offer several hours of relaxing music set to this frequency.  

The first time I listen to one of these I was asleep in less than 10 minutes and I sleep all night, waking up well-rested.  

Here are a couple of links to these types of videos.  

If you are using Youtube for relaxation music and sound, be sure that the autoplay feature is turned off for your videos.  This will prevent you from cycling through other videos when you are asleep. Also make sure that your phone is plugged in, if you are using it, so that you don’t inadvertently kill your battery.

 digital alarm clock time

Vary your Methods and Keep a Log

Be sure to vary your methods to you use to ease your insomnia.  A lot of times these techniques can lose their effectiveness of you use them all the time.  It’s handy to a few thing in your repertoire that you can go to without wearing out your one good technique.  It’s hard when you know that something works to not use it all the time but it’s even more frustrating when you have that tried-and-true method that works and then one day it doesn’t work anymore.  By varying your techniques you might get a little bit more longevity out of a method.

I am including for you a chart to help you keep track of the methods and techniques that you are trying out.  It will be a lot easy to refer to your chart when varying your methods and you will not have to try to remember if a video or technique worked for you or not.  

Insomnia technique log PDF

Insomnia technique log Google Doc

Insomnia technique log Word Doc

Comment with your Tips

What methods and techniques have you used to get to sleep. Share them in the comments.  

I want to Sleep!  Methods to ease insomnia